January 2011

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Nov. 30th, 2010

At this point it's hard to say whether it's Eos having returned or time spent with Anton which cut down much of Anatole's throat-closing fear. (She's Anatole with her Lady, Anna with Anton, and for the first time in a long time she's happy as both.) He -- that quiet spectre of the butterfly touch -- is still outside her window sometimes, at the corner of her vision or with his eyes creeping along her spine while Anatole is out running errands. Those moments when she knows he's near increase. But nowadays she steels herself, breathes blessedly deep, straightens her back and stills trembling hands. Thinks of warm breezes, dawn's light on her cheek or the companionable comfort of Anton's arm pressed against her own while they bench-sit and people watch. (He was cautious at first, strange about touch. They developed an unspoken agreement: Anton would not flinch when Anna eased close, and Anna would not ask after what Anton really was. It's a good arrangement, as these things go.)

Hot on her heels, that creeping sense of end, that winding down of clocks. She's stopped crying over it in favor of taking what's left. This, then, is resignation.

Sep. 21st, 2010

Surprising fact: You can only wander around the city for so long before you start to realize being anonymous in a city of approximately eight bazillion people is weird. And awful, awful, awful every time you look over your shoulder and see the same person.

Summer, where did you go?

Sep. 2nd, 2010

Everything is much smaller and darker without everybody here.

Today I am going to the library. And then I'm going to buy a camera and take photos of everything. And, um, maybe everyone if they'll have me.

Aug. 19th, 2010

Sooooooooo I have the house to myself while Lady Eos and her husband are gone. Pleasepleaseplease let this be good for them, please let it work! I've been alone for a long time and you can get used to anything, honestly, but it's so easy to fall back into old patterns and I can go without if they're just okay again and maybe if they hear from Notus.

...now what do I do?

Aug. 10th, 2010

My heart head hurts.

Best time of the day? Or, um, the night, I suppose.

"Time makes fools of us all."

Today, when dawn greets the day, Anatole will remain in bed for the first time in her long life. Hands folded demurely over her heart, she stares up at her bedroom ceiling and listens to the seconds tick by.

May. 10th, 2010

I'm not an advocate of peace or of war, but... Well, this is just ridiculous. Does anyone even know what they're fighting over or for or anything at this point? We're all dying anyway. Why the rush?

Apr. 23rd, 2010

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